


5 times Vader dealt with bullshit

by SpaceTrashCanFan (Sketchandcomicbookperson)



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Green Lantern (Comics), Nova (Comics), She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018), Star Trek, Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Characters in order of their appearance, Crack, Crack Crossover, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Force Shenanigans (Star Wars), Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Multiple Crossovers, Random & Short, Random Encounters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:08:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27591815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sketchandcomicbookperson/pseuds/SpaceTrashCanFan
Summary: In which Vader encounters odd individuals and is questioning his sanity.Characters are added in order of their appearance in this random fic.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	5 times Vader dealt with bullshit

**1\. Marvel - Nova.**

* * *

The child was struggling to escape from the Sith's grasp when something or someone tore through the roof of the facility and Vader felt an very unpleasant shiver running down his spine when the individual released an burst of energy that sent all troopers and others flying.

'Release him' the being - Vader wasn't sure if the being was even human - ordered, his voice an growl and the energy sparking when he clenched his fists.

'Or else?' Vader asked and the child started squirming again.

'You will face the consequences of getting your ass kicked by an twelve year old' the man in gold-black said with an smirk.

'I am almost seventeen!' the boy snapped. 'I will learn how to drive an car'.

'That's nice, kid'.

'Rich, are you serious?'.

'Nah, I dunno. Maybe the minimum age to drive had changed when I was gone or you got hit by an shrink ray' the man "Rich" pointed out and shrugged, drawing a groan from the teenager.

'If you've seen what I can do, Buddy. You better let Sam go' he added with an challenging smile.

Vader dropped the teen and set an step back, while the child summoned an helmet into his hands, put it on and took off in an burst of energy and light.

'You better hope you won't see us again' the man said with an grin and he followed the teen.

Both were gone within one blink of an eye.

* * *

**2\. She-ra and the princesses of power (2018)**

* * *

'You won't take our planet' the girl - barely an woman stated and she set an step towards the towering Sith.

'You and what army?' Vader scoffed and the girl smirked at him, suddenly looking cocky and an sword materialized in her open hand.

'I am glad that you asked' she replied. 'I am the protector of this world and you are not welcome here'.

'Damn right, we have fought off one evil empire. We can take another one!' the cat-like female behind the protector shouted. 

'For the Honor of Grayskull!' was shouted and that was the moment Vader questioned his sanity and craved an mug of caf, even though he can't drink it like an normal person.

The girl in front had transformed into an buff warrior and Vader froze up for an split second, turned on his heels and marched onto the ramp of his shuttle.

Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope, not dealing with that.

Definitely not with women who can transform into warriors and their friends...

* * *

**3\. Doctor Who - Ten and Donna  
**

* * *

_What in the fresh hell....._

Was the first coherent thought Vader had that morning when he saw an blue box appear in his castle. _  
_

'Now, spaceman. Where are we?' an woman said when she stepped out of the box and froze when she spotted Vader who was questioning whether it was an hallucination or an dream.

'We are on Mustafar, Donna. It is lava-y and Sith-ey here. So watch out' someone else - an man in a suit replied, sounding either very oblivious of the sith in the room or was just plain stupid or fearless.

'I found the Sith' Donna said, dryly and not even impressed.

The man spinned around, his coat billowing behind him and he crossed the distance between Vader and the odd, blue box.

'Hello, I am the Doctor' he introduced himself with an huge grin. 'And you must be the dark sith-ey-ness Lord Vader, owner of this castle. Am I right?'.

'Get out' Vader grumbled.

'Oh! You're now just being very rude here, sir' the Doctor said and pointed with an screwdriver thing at Vader.

He turned on his heels and marched back to the box, his companion followed him back in and the blue box started disappearing again while making an very odd noise.

_Why does this happen to him?_

* * *

**4\. DC - Green Lantern.**

* * *

'You don't know what I am capable of!' Vader roared while charging at the intruder who dodged the blade and Vader slipped to an stop before whirling around to face the intruder who was still looking infuriating calm and smug.

His hands were still folded on his back and the smug smirk was still plastered to his face.

In the Force, he felt like an ocean with an deadly undercurrent combined with the heat of an supernova. 

These kinds of people are the most dangerous. They are known to be unpredictable and very deadly when tipped over the edge, most of them equipped with an sharp mind and an silver tongue.

'I think that's mutual, pal' the intruder said, his voice almost an purr. 'You don't have an faintest clue what I can do and I have no freaking idea what you can do'.

'We are no "pals", intruder' Vader replied and the other let out an humorless chuckle.

'I thought so' he finally said while running an hand through his messy hair and a silence fell when his eyes lit up unnatural and bright green.

'Your lightshow doesn't fear me' Vader rumbled and raised his lightsaber again.

'You should' the other spoke up and raised his hand, sending Vader flying. 'Know that my people are capable of doing these things with an simple flick of their wrist'.

'I don't Fear you' Vader spat and the human huffed an laugh before flashing Vader an grin and shaking his head in played dismay.

'You should' he told Vader, his voice and grin less human and more demonic-ish, but still managing to sound sweet while doing so.

'Okay, that's enough. Let's go, I've got the data!' someone else yelled and another man in the same kind of uniform appeared.

'Bud, you better wish you don't cross paths with any of us again' the man added while dragging his coworker or friend with him on his way out. 'You won't like the consequences'.

* * *

**5\. Star Trek.**

* * *

It was late at night when Vader got the holos of an interrogation of an captain who was in charge of an very odd looking ship that had popped up above Tatooine.

_The captain of this odd-looking ship smiled confidently at his interrogators, like he was engaging in some gossip about an rivaling captain instead of an interrogation._

_'Where are the plans that were extracted by your allies?' the interrogator asked and the captain smiled and shrugged._

_'That Posh wizard guy from the core was pretty hot, though. Same with that brunet officer, but they seem too dangerous to date...' the man mused with an innocent smile, ignoring the question. 'You should have seen them taking on those soldiers with that lasersword, constructs and blasts, it was amazing'._

_'That's treason to the Empire, captain' the Interrogator said._

_'Not if I am not an part of that Empire' the captain replied blandly, his expression darkening for an split second. 'Never was'._

_'I simply needed to be an distraction while my friends blow up the facility nearby_ '.

 _An explosion in the background shook the facility and then the holo went dark_.

Vader stared blankly at the holo before shutting the projector down and staring into the distance.

He later heard that the same captain had been seen at an Rebellion base, together with the other beings Vader had encountered and his former Jedi master.

At this point Vader wasn't surprised anymore.

Heck, he wouldn't even surprised if Corusant gets blown up.

He just wants to take a long nice nap without helmeted, flying things, buff women with swords, glowing human-things, an individual called the Doctor in an blue box or an random crazy captain with his crew.

**Author's Note:**

> Is it a good thing that I heard the voice of Ten while writing this? I guess it's good.


End file.
